Dear Mastodon,

I've been listening to you fine gentlemen since the Remission LP came out. I purchased your Crack the Skye" CD today, and upon listening I was reminded why I'm such a big fan: you kick face. The first time I saw you guys live was in 2003, and the admission was $11. About a month from now you'll be playing Portland, and this will be the first Mastodon show I will not be attending. Why you ask? It's goddamned near $30 dollars to get in! You goat-licking douche humpers are screwing your fans. Oh well, I'll be able to avoid the jock assholes in The Red Chord t-shirts trying to alpha it up in the pit.

~Bribbles

P.S. I still love you. Let's never fight again.